Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet: Dealing with sibling rivalry

Are you KIDDING ME?  The second daughter number two picks up a junky toy (seriously - a chewed up mini troll doll), the older daughter must have it.  Immediately.  It is suddenly the most desirable piece of plastic EVER. 

 

And the whining.... the loud, high pitched, annoying, pain inducing in my temples whine, "She always gets the good toys, I never get anything, you love her more than me, nobody loves me!"

I say again.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Siblings fight (I love my sis, but she still “remembers” when I may have dropped her on her head - accidently on purpose).  Siblings get jealous of one another.  What to do to reduce sibling rivalry?

TRY THIS:  In the battle over resource allocation, talk to both kids about how to resolve a fight.  For example, set up a series of ground rules about what to do if both kids want the same toy. "Boo, if your sister has a toy you want, ask her if you can play with it in three minutes.  You have to wait your turn, just like she has to wait her turn when you have a toy." "Baby Bird (she still thinks she is part bird), when you have a toy your sister wants, a nice thing to do would be to share with her.  You can tell her, ‘I am playing with it right now, but you can have it in two minutes when I am done’"  "I want you guys to try this next time there is a problem with sharing."

NOT THAT:  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  YOU'RE FIGHTING OVER A STUPID DOLL.  I'M THROWING IT AWAY SINCE YOU CAN'T GET ALONG.

WHY?  Provide your kids with a script (a tool) for how to work out a problem on their own.  They won't always get it on the first try, but if you prompt them, they will soon learn the skill of how to compromise and resolve conflicts on their own.