If at first you don't succeed, scream, stomp your foot and run away: Dealing with frustrations

I clearly remember the day my daughter tried to draw a princess.  While a masterpiece notwithstanding, it did resemble a frog more than a princess.  I did not point this out.  But she noticed, threw her pen across the room and crumpled into a wet heap of tears on the floor.

How do you get a 5 year old who is learning how to read and is struggling with sounding out letters to not give up?  How do you encourage an 8 year old whose Fur Elise sounds like a death march to keep practicing?  How can you help your kid deal with frustration when learning a new task?

TRY THIS:  Pre-empt.  If a kid has gotten frustrated with a particular task before, have this talk before they try again.  "Monkey, learning to read takes a long time. It takes lots of practice and lots of mistakes.  Making mistakes is how we learn to do new things.  You were not born knowing how to walk.  You had to practice first.  Every day you practiced, sometimes you fell down, and sometimes you didn't.  BUT, with time and practice you figured it out.  Reading (or bike riding, or playing piano, or drawing) works the same way.  It takes time, practice, and making mistakes.  I know sometimes it's frustrating, so when you are frustrated, count to 10 (or tense up all your muscles and ball up your fists, or say ‘fishes, chocolate, tomato potato’ five times fast), and try again."

NOT THAT:  “Getting frustrated isn't going to make you learn how to read any faster.  Get over it and try again.”

WHY?  Kids need to know that making mistakes is okay and part of the learning process.  They need to know that you EXPECT them to make mistakes.  This will put them more at ease in the task as they are no longer afraid of disappointing you.  Ultimately, this leads to greater experimentation, creativity, and learning.  AND LESS FRUSTRATION.