Man I felt sorry for that Mom rocking the sweet converse hightops in the park today. Her three-ish year old kid was freakin' out: arms flailing, yelling and screaming bloody murder, spit and snot flying. Kid did not want to leave the park. Mom tried to cajole, bribe, threaten the kid to at least just get in the car but that kid would not concede an inch.
Not judging. I've been there. Sweating in my boots hoping someone doesn't call CPS on me since it sounds like my kid is being attacked even though all I said was "we're leaving in 5 minutes." What to do?
TRY THIS: We all know about the ten minute, five minute, and two minute warning. Those work great and prepare a kid for the transition. But even better is providing a kid with a brief outline of the day's schedule, "We have five things on our list today. First we are going to the grocery store, then to the park to play for an hour, post office, and lunch, and then we are going to go home for a nap. I know sometimes it is hard to leave the park, that's why I am going to tell you when we have 10 minutes left so you can start saying goodbye."
NOT THAT: Please come to car with me so we can go home, if you don't come I WILL TAKE AWAY ALL OF YOUR TOYS, if you do come I'll give you a treat when we get in the car! But I'll take it away if you don't stop screaming. I'm leaving you here if you don't come right NOW! Please, just quiet down and come with me (Repeat refrain a few times).
WHY? First of all, some kids are great at transitions. Others less so. The thing is, while you have mapped out the days events in your head you probably have failed to share it, so your kid has no idea what to expect. Remember, children are better able to cope, and better able to regulate their behavior if they are prepared for what is going to happen next. You don't have to provide a detailed five minute interval listing of the schedule, just hit the major transitions of the day so that your kid can anticipate what the day has in store.
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