Did I forget how to play?

A few days ago I interviewed a parent educator.  "Parents" she said, "have forgotten how to get on the floor and play with their kids and entire families are missing out on the benefits of play." 

We've all heard about the social and cognitive benefits of play: learning about another's perspective, turn taking, communication, gracefully dealing with defeat.....But is it true?  Do parents not know how to play?  Reflection time.

When I "play" I find myself manipulating the game into some sort of clean up the house game or (and this is really bad) a game where I can "play" while lying down on the sofa -sleeping beauty anyone?   But honestly, how many round of Candy Land can you play before you want to shoot yourself?  Dress up, to me, is just another word for clothes all over the floor.  I don't know if others feel like this, but sometimes playing with my kids is A) mind numbingly boring or B) results in a tornado through the middle of my house.    So how do you play with your kid so your child (and you) reap the benefits of play?

TRY THIS: All it takes is 35 minutes of FOCUSED attention.  Let your offspring decide what they want to play but give them time parameters so that you can focus and not drift off to thinking about the laundry that needs to be folded or the dinner that needs to be made.  "Sweets, I have 30 minutes before I have to do my chores, what do you want to play?"  And for that 30 minutes focus on whatever your kid wants to do.  Get down on the floor and take their lead.  They're in charge not you.  In half an hour the roles will revert.  Give up some control and enjoy.  Use a five minute timer at the end of the 30 minutes to focus on cleaning together at the end of play.

NOT THAT:  "Sweet, I have 30 minutes to play....but we can't play (list of things that are messy or that you consider boring).

WHY IS CHILD FOCUSED PLAY IMPORTANT?  So many reasons:
-Children learn from being in decision making roles so by putting them in charge practice being in charge and makes them feel empowered. 
-By getting on the floor and letting them take charge you are actively learning about your child's world. 
-Your child feels special getting focused attention - even if it is just 30 minutes.
-You don't feel your responsibilities piling up since it is a short period of time