Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Sticks and stones and MySpace: Cyberbullying and the pre-adolescent

Grade school brings back memories of lunch boxes, four square, and D.S. - my self-appointed bully.  I think everyone had their own personal tormentor and boy did I have mine.  He was the kind of kid who zeroed in on your weakness (in my case, my fondness for a certain classmate) and managed to somehow use that information to make my life miserable.  But luckily for me, the internet had not been invented yet.  I didn't have to worry about my life being broadcast around the world.  

Today bullies have moved from the playground into the personal online spaces we create.  Kids as young as 10 struggle with the 2012 version of the Slam Book (did I just date myself - Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great - July Blume - anyone?).     

Long story short, my kid is going to hit that stage, where I have to worry about internet issues like privacy, online bullying, e-mail harassment, and all that other crazy cyber crap that I can't even fathom.  What to do?

TRY THIS:  Keep an open dialogue with your pre-adolescent (old enough to text? Old enough to e-mail? Old enough for a Facebook account?  Old enough for this talk).  Ask the kid questions about how they set up their privacy settings and why they choose to do it that way.  Ask him for advice on how to set up your privacy settings (helping mom/dad makes them feel good).  Do they ever pause before sending a text?  Why or why not? Does she know anyone who has been hurt by something that has been said about them online?  What might a neighbor, pastor, teacher, parent think about the pictures/videos on your Facebook account?  How do you protect your online privacy and reputation?

NOT THAT:  You can't use the internet.

WHY:  Kids learn more from meaningful conversations where an exchange of ideas occurs, than from simply placing limits on their behavior.  Additionally, while you might be able to limit their behavior at home, there is no guarantee that they won't access the forbidden medium at the library, a friend's house, school, etc.  It’s better to teach them how to navigate social media than to ban them from it.

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